SUBLIME IS SOMETHING
YOU CHOKE ON AFTER
A SHOT OF TEQUILA

Emily Stevenhagen

We drank beers,
played the music only we liked
and dance around, talking about other peoples lives.

Your blood is becoming a liquid I rely on. And now it relies on me, as I paint.
A codependent relationship.
I rely on you.
But now you are toxic to me. Both you and it. Poison, to my insides.
You took it down with you, and now you both choke me.

Her eternal layers, endlessly growing from nothing, define her structure. There is no central core to her many layers. I can peel her down layer, by layer, by layer until she completely disappears, and she is gone.
Where is her centre? Where is her stone? What is it that holds her together? Where does she originate from?

Where do I originate from?
Where is my centre?
Where is my stone?

You look different now but I still know you, and what you are made of. You’ve been damaged one too many times on the outside, and now I have to protect you myself. You will never be hurt again. I will restore your life and shape it anew. Teach you lessons of emotional release, for crying is necessary to flush out the toxins of the mind, the soul, and the experience. A trauma perhaps. This is a need we accept without shame or guilt.
Now you are a new entity. A new organism. Changed and evolved, but still the same. Your new protection, forming a new version of yourself. The scars left behind evident, but not overriding.
It’s complicated, this thing. You and me. We aren't even made of the same material. But I still love you. I still need you. Do you still need me?

It is me and my shadow here. Or you and your shadow, if you were ever asked.

Presented with a bottle painted with acrylic paint, varnish, and pen-line drawings

Cardboard sculpture painted with oil paint, topped with a painted jar filled with turpentine, and painted clay on wire.

Cardboard sculpture with painted expanding foam, containing fabric samples, painted jars, painted plastic packaging, and painted clay sculptures.

Oil paint and charcoal on canvas

Sewn, naturally dyed fabric sculpture, of two separate fabric pieces, with painted plaster bowls, filled with dried onion skins, and jars filled with turpentine and onion dye.